I found myself
Sitting lonely by the window side
Thinking nothing, just staring
Cluelessly, at that building,
Pale and white, old and broken,
Standing across the narrow lane.
Your absence, and that,
I have eyes that see
A different you
When you wake up, messy,
Muddled hairs tied up in a bun
And your dress falling off your shoulder
The bedsheet is stained and disordered
Yet it smells of you.
You stretch your hands, too lazy to move,
Eyes half open
Light up a cigarette
And take the first sip of coffee from the cup
The smokes of cigarette and coffee
Just like us
When last night we made crazy love
The stain of your lips on the coffee cup
The marks on my back
The rings of smoke you leave in the air
You are –
As my eyes see
Have I told you that?
I shouldn’t have
Let your hands feel
The sensations under my skin
And your ears listen to my throbbing heart
When your fingers ran through me like paint brushes
As if, to you, I were a form of art.
I shouldn’t have let your tongue
Roll inside my mouth
It was a magic that worked
And got me fiercely aroused.
I shouldn’t have let my mind flow
The taste of your warm lips
Every time you pulled me close under the blanket
Caressed and planted the erratic kiss.
I shouldn’t have laughed and listened
To the imaginary stories of castles
That we built on floating clouds, and,
Secretly wished them to come true
I shouldn’t have looked at you in the eye
And confess that I’d fallen for you.
Rather, I should’ve crawled under my skin
And pulled myself back
For I am betrothed to the one
Whom I promised and I once loved.
I can see in people’s eye
All that we have seems very, very wrong
And now it doesn’t matter anymore
To whom my heart belongs
As my parting is certain and
There’s no looking back
I am sorry for falling weak
Cause, I really shouldn’t have.
She gifted me
A feathered pen
On our first anniversary
With which I hoped to write
Stories, poems, songs and many more
Things that made her smile.
Red and feathered, the gift,
A beauty unutilized
Until I took it out of the case
And wrote –
On a blotted paper.
Blue ink dropped by erroneous trembling hands
Words blotched by running tears
My heart pounding as I scrawled each word
With her gift, I wrote my first
The last farewell letter.
I have filled a part
Of our life, love and memory
Of assorted size and colours
And have hidden them somewhere
A place my memory will soon obliterate.
And one day when we start to age
Our memories turn distant and fade
When things start looking bleak
We will then play the game of hide and seek
Where we’ll search for these sundry jars
Instead of looking for new
In one another.
Our disconnected hands and soul
Will find them and open
Pouring and spilling the lost fragrance
Of fond memories captured in former time
Aged through years like the fine wine
Reminding us of youth and our undeterred love
I hope the colorful jars capture us
In a sensational time warp.