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Letter from a known stranger

Hello, it’s me’

I have waited for a very long time to say this to you. I have waited for the perfect time and perfect moment. But, now, that ‘perfect’ seems phantasmal. Since words are all I ever had, I concocted this way to express, with the deepest wish in my heart – may this letter never reach you and may your eyes never read through these words, for I fear, till now, that you might disregard them again, like before.  So,            

‘Hello, how are you?
It’s so typical of me to talk about myself. I’m sorry
I hope that you’re well
Did you ever make it out of that town where nothing ever happened?’

 Recently, I visited the place, where we secretly fled, once upon a time, deceiving the thousand anxious eyes; where we walked without fear and held each other all the time, never to let go; where we promised to be together, forever.

I visited alone.

Despite several promises and heart-crossings made during our young love, I climbed the stairs, alone, without your hands reaching out to me for support and affection.

Do you remember how you waited for me when I ran out of breath while climbing those stairs, how you held me and we walked the steps together?

Hello, can you hear me?’

 My heart was heavy and mind was brimming with memories of those days, etched with the darkest ink, when we had love and care, when we had only each other. Flashes of memories blinded me as I stood in the present reminiscing the good, old, happy times.

Yes, I miss you, but I missed you even more as I crossed the memory lane and your voice echoed in my mind.

The air was as fresh as it was then and the mountains still stood high. The water was as green as we saw it in the cup of our palms and the woods remained dark and dense.

Remember, how we let our wild hearts guide our path and reached the top of the dense hill where we found the ruins of some civilization, where we exchanged our first kiss, away from the stares of the people?

‘And it’s no secret that the both of us
Are running out of time’

This time, my feet were grounded but my thoughts were not; they had already abandoned my conscience and fled to the hill-top, again. I wish my mortal body could be as free as my thoughts. I wondered if the ruins defied the torment of time and still persisted there. To me, they are the epitome of wild love, of freedom. I wish we were still together to run to unknown places where our madness and vision took us.

I dipped my feet in the cold running waters of the lake which meandered gently to form a waterfall. I imagined the reflection of your submerged feet beside mine but the reflection was short-lived, like us, and it dissolved in the swaying waters waking me from the trance of fond remembrances.

The scattered logs and broken trees did not change their look or position except for the overgrown climbers that covered them, the instruction board stood in its place where we saw it years before with the only difference of rust weakening its base and the air still reminded me of the scent from the back of your neck.

Everything was the same, except me and you.

‘I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet
To go over everything
They say that time’s supposed to heal ya
But I ain’t done much healing’

 The madness has reduced substantially.  It was this insanity that tore us apart and brought this distance between me and you. The experimental frenzy possessed us and we walked our way to separation.

I understood it as I matured.

‘I’m in here dreaming about who we used to be
When we were younger and free
I’ve forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet
There’s such a difference between us
And a million miles’

 I wished so deeply that you be present there, at that moment, which was so perfect, to accept my apology for shattering your trust into unmendable million pieces. I wished I could convince you, in the most unfathomable scale, how really sorry I am for doing that to you and how desperate I am to run back into your arms to feel the welcoming warmth. I wanted to start mending the unrepairable damage caused by me. I just wish.

Hello from the other side
I must have called a thousand times
To tell you I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done
But when I call you never seem to be home’

‘Hello from the outside
At least, I can say that I’ve tried
To tell you I’m sorry for breaking your heart
But it don’t matter. It clearly doesn’t tear you apart anymore’

As the place gleamed in golden beauty under the bright yellow rays of the sun, the land held the impression of our togetherness and the wind carried the ardor of the bygone wild love, there was a silent sadness and apology echoing in the hills and mountains which was neither meant to fall on your ears nor make any slightest effort to diminish the distance between us.

Quotes taken from ‘Hello‘ sung by Adele

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