I found myself
Sitting lonely by the window side
Thinking nothing, just staring
Cluelessly, at that building,
Pale and white, old and broken,
Standing across the narrow lane.
Your absence, and that,
I shouldn’t have
Let your hands feel
The sensations under my skin
And your ears listen to my throbbing heart
When your fingers ran through me like paint brushes
As if, to you, I were a form of art.
I shouldn’t have let your tongue
Roll inside my mouth
It was a magic that worked
And got me fiercely aroused.
I shouldn’t have let my mind flow
The taste of your warm lips
Every time you pulled me close under the blanket
Caressed and planted the erratic kiss.
I shouldn’t have laughed and listened
To the imaginary stories of castles
That we built on floating clouds, and,
Secretly wished them to come true
I shouldn’t have looked at you in the eye
And confess that I’d fallen for you.
Rather, I should’ve crawled under my skin
And pulled myself back
For I am betrothed to the one
Whom I promised and I once loved.
I can see in people’s eye
All that we have seems very, very wrong
And now it doesn’t matter anymore
To whom my heart belongs
As my parting is certain and
There’s no looking back
I am sorry for falling weak
Cause, I really shouldn’t have.
to being just friends
and letting go of the past,
when you were aware
of the unfulfilled wishes
lingering in your heart.
to being just friends
when you brushed
your hands against mine
and held me tight and close.
It pained, I cried,
but you didn’t let go.
The pretence, gone too soon,
and your monster lurked
when you had –
all of me
somewhere in the dark.
I let you go; go free
I won’t cry
that it was my fault,
I trusted again,
in just being friends,
knowing that some unfulfilled wishes
will always find an end.
You stripped me of my scarred skin
And looked through my injured soul
As you feel my pain through them
It hurt me even more.
Silence brimmed in your glaring eyes
When you delved in my profound wounds
So deep yet so painless
In you, quietly the anger tuned.
As you look through the shrivelled cuts
You read a silent tale
Of love and pain put together
In complete dissonance.
Your desperate kiss and feathery touch
Pleaded my soul to heal
And then, I knew I found the man
Amidst this beautiful surreal.
He, who promised to drown in me
To revive all my flaws
He will be the man, I know,
Who will love me in my chaos.