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I shouldn’t have

I shouldn’t have
Let your hands feel
The sensations under my skin
And your ears listen to my throbbing heart
When your fingers ran through me like paint brushes
As if, to you, I were a form of art.
I shouldn’t have let your tongue
Roll inside my mouth
It was a magic that worked
And got me fiercely aroused.
I shouldn’t have let my mind flow
Without resistance
And savour
The taste of your warm lips
Every time you pulled me close under the blanket
Caressed and planted the erratic kiss.
I shouldn’t have laughed and listened
To the imaginary stories of castles
That we built on floating clouds, and,
Secretly wished them to come true
I shouldn’t have looked at you in the eye
And confess that I’d fallen for you.
Rather, I should’ve crawled under my skin
Retrieved
And pulled myself back
For I am betrothed to the one
Whom I promised and I once loved.
I can see in people’s eye
All that we have seems very, very wrong
And now it doesn’t matter anymore
To whom my heart belongs
As my parting is certain and
There’s no looking back
I am sorry for falling weak
Cause, I really shouldn’t have.

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Just Being Friends

You pretended
to being just friends
and letting go of the past,
when you were aware
of the unfulfilled wishes
lingering in your heart.

You pretended
to being just friends
when you brushed
your hands against mine
and held me tight and close.
It pained, I cried,
but you didn’t let go.

The pretence, gone too soon,
and your monster lurked
when you had –
all of me
smiling
somewhere in the dark.

I let you go; go free
I won’t cry
and deny
that it was my fault,
I trusted again,
in just being friends,
knowing that some unfulfilled wishes
will always find an end.

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His silent love

You stripped me of my scarred skin

And looked through my injured soul

As you feel my pain through them

It hurt me even more.

Silence brimmed in your glaring eyes

When you delved in my profound wounds

So deep yet so painless

In you, quietly the anger tuned.

As you look through the shrivelled cuts

You read a silent tale

Of love and pain put together

In complete dissonance.

Your desperate kiss and feathery touch

Pleaded my soul to heal

And then, I knew I found the man

Amidst this beautiful surreal.

He, who promised to drown in me

To revive all my flaws

He will be the man, I know,

Who will love me in my chaos.

 

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