IT life is very boring in my opinion. We work 9-5 or 11-8 or at night shifts. By work, I mean giving our best in all jobs at hand because, in today’s competitive environment, job satisfaction is one of the prime factors to look for. To induce more frustration and competition, some highly intellectual people have introduced terms like appraisal, goal-setting, performance review, etc. As much as the free tea/coffee and the old generation laptop (in which you have restricted permissions) issued by the company fails to amaze us, we still manage to smile and say “Hello” to our bosses irrespective of the shit, sorry shift, timing. Thus, there arose a vital necessity to invent a term to counteract the aforementioned negative terms and as the saying goes, ‘need is the mother of invention’, we, the IT people, have figured out something called a ‘weekend plan’.

Weekend Plan. This terminology is found in the dictionary of any individual (or a group of individuals) who is mentally, physically, and emotionally drained and exhausted from performing all activities under severe pressure and kept under the strict vigilance of a superior on five consecutive days starting Monday. Similarly, weekend refers to the two consecutive days that regularly comes after every Friday and vanishes in the blink of an eye.

As for us, the people working in IT, weekends are very important. These two days take the burden of making us feel happy without questioning our IT existence. It is, therefore, we dump all the merry things on these two days. We plan to meet our girlfriends/boyfriends on weekends. We plan to go shopping on weekends. We buy our groceries on weekends. We plan to wash our cars on weekends. We plan to drink and pass out, not pass away, on weekends. Some even take bath on weekends (only). And many more. Weekends have become an integral part of our monotonous IT lives. We conduct football/cricket matches/tournaments on weekends. We include weekends when we plan a trip. We include weekends to plan our wedding so that all our relatives can make it. My mother even chose to bring me and my sister into this world on a weekend to avoid leave crunches! Yes, it’s true. She planned to birth us on weekends.

Planning sample

Person 1: “Chal aaj party karte hain!”

                   (Come, let’s party today)

Person 2: “Aaj nai yar! Aaj Wednesday hain. Kal office bhi toh ana hai. Weekend ko karte hain na!”

                   (Not today buddy. Today is Wednesday and I’ve to report to the office tomorrow. Let’s do it on a weekend)

But, how much do we actually do?  But by the time we get up, a major chunk of the weekend is over. Then, we re-shuffle our plans. Priority goes to washing the week’s clothes (and inner-wears!!!). Kyuki office me toh tip-top and smart lagna hai na”(Because we have to look smart in the office). To people who like excessive cleanliness, washing includes bedsheets, curtains, racks, fridge, toilet, kitchen, whole house and many more! You cannot imagine what all can be washed on a weekend! That alone takes another major chunk out of the weekend. Married people and parents have much more to do. And by the time we are done with everything and feel rejuvenated, it is Sunday night already! Weekend over. Game over. The vicious five-day cycle starts again.

Planning Sample (Contd.)

Person 1: “Chal aaj nayi movie ka last show dekhte hain!”

                  (Come, let’s watch the last show of the new movie)

Person 2: “Aaj nai yar! Kal office bhi toh ana hai. Weekend ko karte hain na!”

(Not today buddy. I’ve to report to the office tomorrow. Let’s do it on a weekend)

*End of conversation*

So, the next time anyone asks you, “What’s your weekend plan?”, reply with any vague plan that is not destined to see the sunlight, because, in IT, the reality and the expectations hardly ever meet. *wink*